There was a young lady named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light;
She set out one day,
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
—Arthur Henry Reginald Buller, 1923
A monkey sprang down from a tree
And angrily cursed Charles D.
"I hold with the Bible,"
He cried, "It's a libel
That man is descended from me!"
—Laurence Perrine (1915–1995)
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nan tucket.
—Princeton Tiger, 1924
But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pa tucket.
—Chicago Tribune, 1924
There once was a person from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!"
—Unknown
Two brothers devised what at sight
Seemed a bicycle crossed with a kite.
They predicted—rash pair!
It would fly through the air!
And what do you know? They were Wright!
—Laurence Perrine (1915–1995)
A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican,
He can take in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I'm damned if I see how the helican!
—Dixon Merritt, 1910
There once was a fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall;
'Twould have been a sad thing
Had he died in the spring,
But he didn't, he died in the fall.
—Unknown
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said "It is just as I feared! —
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
—Edward Lear (1812-1888)
There was a young lady named Tuck
Who had the most terrible luck,
She went out in a punt,
And fell over the front,
And was bit on the leg by a duck.
—Unknown
A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And unless we are wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.
—Unknown
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