EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD

Eyes in the back of my head as the children play,

Ears like a bat's for arguments,

Tuned in like a shark for blood and tears,

Nose like a dog's
For
FIRE, PERFUME, SPILT MILK, NAIL-VARNISH,

Timing like a snake's
(For getting them back)

Claws like a panther's
FOR PUTTING THEM DOWN
(When uppity)

Arms like an octopus
For
DRINKS DOORS FOOD AND SMACKS
No snacks (misspelling),

Brain like a computer's
For calculating: their mood, their friends' mood, the last time they ate,
And 'Who's not had a toilet break ?'

Mouth like a lawyer's
For Persuasion,

Skin like a Rhino
For swearing, insults, bad behaviour,

Digestive system like a tank, for grinding up leftovers,

Two brains for shopping
(One to watch them, one to buy food)

Three brains for when they're playing
(One for screams, one to cook, one listening to the radio)

Energy of a horse,
To keep going where company chairmen would flag

Analytical powers of a General
For making snap decisions that will affect the rest of their lives,

Game plan of a chess master
For mapping out their childhood,

Snoozing ability of a cat, for instant recovery

Curiosity of a Detective, for figuring what all THAT was about

Patience of a missileer (ahh, for surviving it all),

Lungs like a whale's (for venting frustration),

Pockets of a Bank (for endless treats),

Skills of a medic (just in case),

Forcefulness of an entrepeneur (for getting them to school),

Tolerance of a saint (for when things go wrong),

Restraint of a warrior, when being driven mad

Diplomacy of an Ambassador, for EVERYONE who meets my kids



And bucketloads, bucketloads of love