Limericks

 

 

There once was a lady from Niger

Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;

They returned from the ride

With the lady inside

And the smile on the face of the tiger.

 

 

A tutor who tooted the flute

Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.

        Said the two to the tutor,

“Is it harder to toot, or

To teach two tutors to toot

 

 

There once was a fellow named Hall

Who fell in the spring in the fall;

        Twould have been a sad thing

        Had he died in the spring,

But he didn’t, he died in the fall.

 

 

An amoeba named Sam and his brother

Were having a drink with each other.

        In the midst of their quaffing,

        They split themselves laughing,

And now each of them now is a mother.

 

 

A goat on a stroll near a brook

Found an old movie film and partook.

        “Was it good?” asked his mate.

        Said the goat, “Second-rate!

Not nearly as good as the book!”

 

 

A cannibal said to her mate

Who was in a deplorable state

                                        Of discomfort, “My dear,

Do you think it’s the beer

Or is it just someone you ate?”

 

 

The limerick’s never averse

To expressing itself in a terse

        Economical style

        And yet, all the while,

The limerick’s always a verse.

 

 

Two brother devised what at sight

Seemed a bicycle crossed with a kite.

        They predicted – rash pair!

        It would fly through the air!

And what do you know? They were Wright!